Thank you, life

I wanted to publish my Monday post at the usual time, but to be honest, I was physically exhausted. At first, I thought I wouldn’t write anything at all today, but now that I have a moment to myself, the urge to write to you hasn’t gone away. Maybe it’s because, since I started this blog, I don’t think I’ve ever missed a post, and I wanted to keep the streak going. Maybe it’s because I need this. Honestly, I’m not really sure.

The reason behind my exhaustion is that this weekend has been an emotional rollercoaster. My grandpa suffered a stroke on Saturday, so life has been moving at full speed since then. I went to see him as soon as I could. That’s all I can really say, honestly. I’m not doing too badly —maybe because I can see some improvements in him— but I can’t say it’s easy either. I’m just grateful to be here for him. I can still see a sparkle in his eyes when he looks at me, and I’m trying to make sure he can see mine too.

I just hope everything turns out as well as possible —for him, for my loved ones, and for me.

Thank you, life

One of my nightmares: the lack of confidence

I wasn't sure what the topic for today's blog post would be, but suddenly I remembered one of my nightmares: the lack of confidence. However, I didn't know how to approach it. That's why I was interested in the perspectives that ChatGPT would offer. So, I asked it about the importance of confidence and the possible reasons behind its lack. Here is a summary of what we've been talking about:

Confidence can be a real challenge, especially when fear of change or the unknown creeps in. I know that feeling all too well—the anxiety that hits when a new day starts, leaving my mind blank and making it hard to even begin. It’s like this wall of self-doubt that stops me from taking action, and the fear of what’s ahead can keep me stuck. The tricky part is that often, I don’t even realize I’m worrying about the future in the moment. It’s like my mind just spirals into overthinking without me noticing, and before I know it, I’m paralyzed by the uncertainty.

I've tried to take breaks to recharge, but instead of helping, they often turn into distractions that just make me feel worse about wasting time. What I’ve realized, though, is that building confidence is a process. It’s not about being perfect right away; it’s about recognizing the small steps and celebrating the progress—even if it’s tiny. Shifting my mindset to see tasks as opportunities to grow, rather than tests of my ability, helps take some pressure off. The hardest part for me is letting go of the constant worry about the future and focusing on what I can control today. It’s all about trying to be present and taking action even when I feel uncertain.

To overcome uncertainty, we can focus on what we can control right now. This might mean taking small steps or setting achievable goals. It’s important to accept that uncertainty is part of growth —none of us have everything figured out, and that’s okay. Rather than waiting for the “perfect moment” to take action, we can start, even if it's imperfect. Moving forward, no matter how small, is better than staying stuck.

Another thing is to reframe mistakes as learning opportunities instead of failures. This shift in perspective helps us let go of the fear of getting things wrong. Practicing mindfulness can help ground us in the present, calming our tendency to overthink the future. Building confidence happens through small wins, no matter how minor they seem —they remind us that we’re making progress, even if it feels slow.

Journaling (or talking about it with someone) can also be really helpful. By writing down our thoughts, we can gain some clarity and release the mental clutter. And, most importantly, we need to practice self-compassion. It's okay not to have everything figured out right now. By embracing uncertainty, we can navigate it with more confidence and a little less anxiety.

So, even though I still struggle with confidence and anxiety, I’m learning that growth happens little by little, even when the fear feels overwhelming, and that I did incredibly things in the past, why would this time be different? 

A surprising love for The Crown

I'm currently watching The Crown, you know? But I must confess I didn't want to at first. History has never been one of my favorite subjects. Furthermore, remembering dates and events has never been my strongest skill—it caused me a lot of headaches and tears, to be totally honest. But I know I need to consume English content to improve my comprehension and articulation, and I also want to learn more about its culture and traditions. So, my roommate suggested I watch it with her, even though she had already finished the series.

Well, it's true that I don't always understand some expressions or situations, but I'm following the plot and enjoying it immensely. In fact—be careful, this is a mini spoiler—when I finished the first two seasons, I needed some time before continuing. I had grown used to admiring Claire Foy's portrayal of Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, and I didn't want her to leave. This happened around Christmas, so after a few more days, I gave it another try, and... yes, I missed her, but they did a great job with the transition, the ageing process, and I absolutely adore Olivia Colman's work.

Now, I have two seasons and a half left, and I'm sure I'm going to miss this series when I binge-watch the rest! 

 

Life starting to sync: being 25

Last Saturday was my birthday. Yeeey! But I must confess it's strange being 25. I mean... You're too young for some things, but too old for others. Don't misunderstand me, I feel grateful for being 25. In fact, I like this number, as my favorite number is 5. But it does feel strange to me, like too big, too powerful. And I still feel like a... Not a teenager, but not quite a 25-year-old woman either. However, it's a great time to keep rediscovering myself and trying not to cover up what I like or what I want to do. Every day that passes, life feels more and more in sync with me.

See you next Monday! I hope to write to you more and in more detail about what I have in mind :) 

Hi!

How are you? Did the Wise Men bring you lots of presents? The end of the year was a little strange, and so was the beginning. It reminds me how life can’t always be as perfect or as ideal as we’d like. Perfection holds beauty, yes, but the beauty in imperfection is beyond words. Soon, I’ll tell you more about this —what I just mentioned.

But first, as this is the first Monday of the year and the month, and since I’m trying to write to you every Monday, I didn’t want to miss the chance to show up, say "hi", wish you a great day, and tell you that this, for sure, will be our year.

With love,

Marta

This is all, folks!

So this is all for 2024, folks! It's been quite a unique year. For me, this has been a period in which I've proven to myself that I can move forward, in which I have truly realized that my only limit is myself —my mind, my beliefs, my thoughts, my ambition. I've learned that only I can fight for myself, for the life I want to live, for my dreams and desires. Step by step, I'm discovering what is meant for me, what I truly want. It feels like a long journey, but at least I know it's just the beginning, and that nothing is set in stone yet. Another year of discoveries, surprises, challenges, and achievements. Another year of re-learning about myself and what I’m capable of. And you know what? I've always wanted not to be this way —or at least, not too much— but now, I’m really enjoying my own company because I’ve learned to appreciate the flow.

So for 2025, I’m not going to wish for health. This year, I just want to keep trusting myself, my competencies, my abilities, and my intuition. Sometimes it's difficult because there will always be people telling you what to do and how to behave, but this is where my story starts (or better said, where it continues).

I know I can. I just have to do it. And I assure you —I assure myself— I will.

Have a great start to the year! I hope you enjoy these days as much as you can. Keep wondering, keep growing, keep changing, keep believing, keep walking. Every day is a new day, a new opportunity (if we allow it for ourselves).

Cheers!

Self-Reflection

I used to think that people do not change. Maybe it was because I thought I never would. Maybe it was because of the typical phrase others tend to say: "people never change", and I believed it. But over the years, when I take the time to look back, I realize I have new illusions, new dreams, new objectives, new pursuits, new thoughts. A part of me is still there, but it keeps adapting to the circumstances, to my age, to the life I'm living. 

Sometimes I don’t know what I want, even though I just had it in my mind moments earlier. 

Sometimes I forget what home really means, doubting the role of blood, questioning my sufficiency, wondering what others truly mean to me. 

Sometimes I find myself in lost songs, yet I can’t see myself in the mirror. 

Sometimes I enjoy their company, but I don’t feel accompanied at all. 

Sometimes I think I’m living, but the emptiness doesn’t go away. 

Sometimes I dream big, but I stay in the same place anyway. 

Sometimes I feel like a constant misunderstood contradiction, but also like a puzzle waiting to be solved. 

Sometimes I think I understand life, but then I don’t know where it goes, where to start. 

And yet, here I am. Scars remain, so do band-aids. I still don’t know what to do, but I’m walking forward. Trying to feel, not just think. Trying to live, not just survive. Trying to be myself in a world which kinda erase me. 

But I know I’ll get there, that's why I'm here.

Mikel Izal - La Fe